Be a Buddy…..Not a Bully

February 10, 2016 - 6 minutes read

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In today’s age, bullies don’t push you into lockers, they don’t tell their victims to meet them behind the school’s dumpster after class. They cower behind usernames and fake profiles from miles away constantly berating and abusing good, innocent people

These are the words of David Molak’s brother who hung himself in the family backyard because he was repeatedly bullied for no reason at all. David’s brother said he hadn’t done anything bad to the bullies except for having an attractive girlfriend. He was bullied by online harassment and insult, eventually leading to his death.

Bullying is nothing new to our society but with increased technological advances, bullying all over the world has increased. Children have gained access to a new way of torturing and harassing youngsters by creating fake profiles, spreading confidential information about a person, leaking pictures, sending audio or text messages making the victim feel threatened and frightened. The worse thing about cyber bullying is that there are no strict hours for bullying; anybody can bully you online anytime and anywhere, eventually increasing stress, tension, anxiety for the victim, decreasing his self-confidence and increased troubles in sleeping at night.

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It’s not necessary that a person shows bruises on his body, giving evidence that he/she has been bullied. Bully
ing can be physical and psychological both. You might notice that the person has started to remain in isolation, not mingling with people and not being able to maintain his hygiene. Your daughter might start looking in the mirror for a really long time, criticizing her body because the girls in her high school call her by names: fat, ugly, dark! You might even notice that your son hesitates going out and playing with his friends like he used to. All these are the indicators that your child is being bullied. Unfortunately, people are unaware of the bullying done with to child. It’s not necessary that a stranger only bullies or abuses your child; a close acquaintance of your family might be doing that under your nose without you even knowing.

Bullying is often linked with suicide or suicidal behavior in the victim but not every victim carries the thought of suicide; what triggers this thought is the lack of support from family and peer groups. The greatest challenge a child might face while being bullied is finding that one person to trust with whom he/she can share his fea3r.

Parents in our culture usually refrain from discussing this topic. Most of them don’t have any inkling that their child is being bullied, they still consider it harmless activity. As a reaction, the tormented child goes into hiding or considers his trauma caused by his own fault.  Handling a bully can be tricky, especially when the intimidation or insults occur online. Rumors are easily spread, and often believed when published online. Being parents, one needs to maintain interaction and healthy communication with their child on a daily basis. This can open the door for your child to share his/her problems and rely on you. When a parent or support system steps in, their strength can bring hope to this predator/prey scenario. Sharing stories from your own past can be of a big help. This will help learn the bullied to handle situations and how to take back their own power.

Dan Pearce in ‘Single Dad Laughing’ points out an important aspect. He says,

People who love themselves don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer

Some bullies are caught but thousands of these bullies go unnoticed. We need to teach our children to love others and love themselves too. What they like for themselves, they should like it for others. And what they dislike for themselves, they should refrain from putting others in the pain they don’t want to suffer. If we cannot love ourselves unconditionally, we can never like others either. Let’s make a promise today that we will report bullies in our surrounding, trust the bullied person and protect them from those animals who slowly leave a grave impression in the abused mind affecting his/her personality and self-growth.

Contributed By: Manaal Ayesha Aamer

Picture credits:

www.familyfaithandfood.com

www.norahcolvin.com

www.examiner.com

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